This is a lesson I have been learning as well. I can’t relate to people for the sake of “converting” them. I need to learn to relate to them because they are human and I am genuinely interested in them.

If I really care about them, truly care, then their “eternal destination” will come up, but it won’t be the driving force behind befriending them.

I would add that one should not purposely talk to someone on behalf of trying to “convert” them to a faith. Talking to them to just provide a listening body is the key. The work you provide here will allow an opening for you to share later. I used to be apart of that group Nathan talked about, in that all my friends were members of the church, but now this is not the case. I go to a liberal school with diverse thinking. I pride myself in that I talk to many people everyday. They are not all christians, but that is ok. I let them open up to me and tell me things that THEY want to tell me. Once you start looking for ways to share to them, you miss out on what is really being said.

I used to think, everytime I talked to a “non-christian” once they are done talking to me, I will pounce in with my thoughts on how to better the situation - God. This is not the answer, the greatest pastors are not out in Starbucks preaching, they are not in Home Depot giving a sermon, they are out and about listening and lending a shoulder to lean on. People find out what a great person you are by watching you, not by telling them how great you are.

You might think about this: Your circle of friends and Family may be christians because they saw what joy was brought into their life from someone else. Keyword - saw. You may have an effect on someone everytime you go to starbucks or the person behind every counter by being who you are. Light shines through objects, not from any one spot (like a mouth). Let the light shine through you and the rest will follow.

That’s all folks…

Ryan Middleton

Volunteer at a soup kitchen.

Visit a prison.

Volunteer opportunities abound, and that would be an excellent way to visibly demonstrate the love of Christ to those who don’t know Him.

2) When training me about evangelism, my Campus Life director Ric Reger taught me a valuable lesson: “Never assume.” He says that you should never assume that someone has accepted Christ.

I’ve found this to be great advice. Many times I’m convinced someone is a Christian because of the friends they have or the school they go to. But I have been surprised at the number of those people who actually don’t have a relationship with God. Often - if you ask the right question you’ll find someone who had accepted Christ but fallen away - and just needs a Christian friend to provide encouragement.

I have started doing several things…

Whenever I am out and about I look for opportunities to talk to people. As soon as I find someone willing to talk, or who seems interested in a conversation, I talk to them. It means that a trip to the store takes a little bit more time, but it’s worth it. Before I leave, I give them my email address and then I ask for theirs and ask permission to email them. I have found that a lot of people are open to staying in touch via email, especially if we discover that we have something in common.

Another thing I do is talk to people while I am out walking. If I see someone walking a dog, I talk to them about their dog (I’m usually interested in what kind of dog it is.)

I strike up conversations with and get email addresses of servers at restaurants (usually provided that they are male, but probably more important for you, considering that you are married).

One of the most important things I have discovered in this process is that I have to be genuinely interested in the other person. If I’m not, they can tell almost immediately. If I’m not interested at some point, or for some reason, I don’t talk to that person. Otherwise, I’m setting myself up for trouble.

You are more than welcome to go on a walk with me sometime, or go some of the places I go and meet people. Just shoot me an email and let me know (I assume you have my address ). And, I will be praying for you.